goal: to create Emotion


Light slowly seeped in through the curtains- Morning.
I blindly stumble down the stairs and find that mum & dad had cooked some pink Bacon & delicious eggs. I savour the breakfast & at the same time chomp it down. we then (as a family) strolled down to the local park and went adventuring down an old track we’ve never been on before. we were a little bit down the track when I turned around and my parents weren’t there. that’s when I started to get nervous. I run up ahead and find river blocking the path dead end. I was looking around frantically, I started sweating, I tried to take deep breaths but it didn’t help, I started yelling MUM! DAD! and collapsed to my knees, I’d lost my parents…

One thought on “100wc

  1. Fin,
    you’ve certainly achieved your goal here- using a situation we could all imagine, and specific descriptive details that bring the scenes to life.
    Be careful keeping consistent tense-you jump from past to present & back again. they both have advantages- try it both ways and see which works best for emotional urgency,

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